“It’s how we deal with the things that hurt us most that defines us.”
This book had it all and trust me when I tell you this: I loved every moment of it!! This book had angst, so much emotions that my emotion ran wild. It had an edge, some boldness but there was also so much heart and vulnerability in it. Oh my sweet Nash, who is a rough around the edges and has so much tattoo’s, you would never know where to look but he has such a big heart and can actually be a real softy. He goes with the flow and he is down to earth, a total opposite to his best friend Rule. The Marked Men Series has quickly become one of my new favorite series! It is a must read. I loved Nash before in the other books but now I could actually see what made him tick. I loved how I could see how much he cared for the others but he had so many burdens to shoulder and we got to see how he got through it all! He was there for the others despite him being so lost in his own turmoil… I fell hard for the boy with purple eyes. This story was opposite to the other books. It was about deceptive perceptions and lingering pain; a story of first love and lingering heartbreak. I love that this book felt so real. This book had so much vulnerability and the emotions were so real. And what make a series fantastic is this group of misfits and lost souls, despite them having their own paths, still have each other’s backs because they are all a family and family needs each other.
Nash has the perfect balance of hardness and heart. His tough exterior, inked with bright flames and a huge dragon over his entire body is an perfect guise for all that hurt and abandonment he felt for so long. He has always been there for his friends, especially for his best friend, Rule, but the feelings of hurt was bearable because of his uncle Phil. Now Phil is in hospital because of cancer and Nash found something out that is shocking. As everything comes to light and he feels like everything is crashing around him, a face from his past is there to help him and soothe all that hurt with simple touches and calming words he never expected he would get.
“I couldn’t explain it, I didn’t know her. Barely remembered her from before, and really had no clue what kind of person she was beyond her personable and professional bedside manner, but I wanted her to be there, felt like I needed her to be there … it was too bad she fucking hated me.”
If you read Rome then you know that we have met Saint Ford before. She is a nurse and she takes her work very seriously because she is good at it. She is always ready to soothe those who need it. Little did she know that she will come face to face withe her past and see the one person that is the cause of so much pain and insecurities. Seeing him fall apart like that was however to hard for her to ignore. Nash has always unsettled her and now, seeing him all grown up, bolder… well, it’s doing things to her that shouldn’t be doing. Truth be told she has never been able to find any closeness with any other man because she would be lying to herself if she said that Nash wasn’t a permanent fixture in her thoughts over the years. Saint is again totally opposite to the girls that Jay wrote about so far. She seems so perfectly put together, successful and determined. On the inside, however, she has so many insecurities about herself. I felt for her because she felt real, I mean who does not have insecurities. Saint has been paralyzed with the fear of heartache and she was afraid to open her heart for anyone. She is stuck in the past and she does not see who she is now, nor does she believe that Nash has changed. There relationship was a constant push and pull. Saint made it clear from the very start that she doesn’t like him, but there are times that she kind help but respond to his kindness and his vulnerability.
“Nash Donovan was a beautiful, wicked, hot flame that burned me when I got too close. He was just the first stop in a journey dotted by disappointment, but somewhere along the way I found my footing. My purpose. I just didn’t know that as soon as I did, Nash would manage to run my world upside down all over again, and only a fool gets burned twice by the same flame.”
Nash never did long term relationships…. he didn’t see that for himself, even though his friends believe otherwise. There was always something special about Saint that was different for him. He wanted to have a long term relationship with her. He wanted to get to know her, that is when she’s not pushing him away. He noticed that she is kind and caring and that is filling a gap inside him that was left wide open by his family. Soon, he finds himself falling for her. He wants her and needed her to survive everything that’s going on in his life. Saint finally makes it clear that she want him, but her past haunts their present and her insecurities starts to drive a wedge between them. Soon Nash begins to fall from all that burdens on his shoulders. With Phil dying and still holding onto truths that Nash needs to hear, a new business pressuring him and to top it all off is Saint’s trust issues, which makes him spiral out of control. Saint won’t open her heart enough to make her self fall for the fear of her heart breaking permanently, but she needs to open more because Nash needs her and she runs the risk of loosing him forever when all he shown her is love.
This book is another amazing addition to this fantastic series.This book had levels of emotion and angst. I found it interesting to see the girl work harder to make this relationship work. There were moments that had me tear up. Overall I’m happy that I sat up till 2:30 am to finish this book. It was a solid, addictive and wonderfully paced book. I can’t wait read Rowdy next because I have a feeling I’m gonna love Salem Cruz!!!!!
“Nash wanted to live a life with no regrets, I wanted to live a life that was fulfilled. We needed each other to accomplish that, and now that we had each other there was no then versus now, there was just this life we had together.”